Let’s face it, mostly every youth team has a parent that represents that coaching staff. I have been in the game for enough years now to know that when my staff and I have no children on our squad we are definitely in the minority. There are two types of parent coaches:
- The parent who doesn’t know better and inserts their child at shortstop and bats third when their are better suited players for those positions.
- The parent who pushes their kid relentlessley during their playing days.
Regretfully, I have to place myself in the number two slot. I expected the world from my daughter. A daughter who has all the talent in the world, is actively recruited right now by division one colleges, and still that was not good enough for me. I would come down on her for any mistake she would make, big or small, like she had commited a federal offense.
No other child recieved such treatment from me. I was positive, upbeat, and helpful with every player – but not my daughter. I let other friends and coaches advice go in one ear and right out the other. Why? They didn’t know what they were talking about. I knew what I was doing and how I could push my daughter.
How wrong I was.
Fortunately, with the help of great coaches and friends, my wall was broken down. I looked back at the previous years of coaching my daughter and nearly broke down because of how I treated her. I thought about leaving the game. The only reason I am still in this great sport is simple: I was able to talk to my daughter and agree to put what happened behind us and look forward to the year ahead. The year that would be the last year I coached her. No more on the ride home did I freak out on what she was thinking when she looked at that 3rd strike. No more of me telling her that she isn’t being the team leader, that she has to do better on her steal coverage, etc.
That last year didn’t make up for how I treated her, but it was a beautiful season together. Our car rides back and forth were priceless. If she wanted to talk about the game, we did. If not, we talked about everything BUT the game or the weekend. I know longer coach my daughter and I can’t tell you how much I miss that. Not many Dads get the oppportunity to spend so much time with their teenage girl, but I did. Although I wish every year could have been like our last year, I am OK knowing that we shared the last season together with smiles, high fives and hugs.
If you happen to fall into the number two category, or you are aware of someone in a similar situation, please share this with them and maybe I can break down their own wall, and before it’s too late.
